Holy snap. There's a movie i once watched..... I think it was "Behind Enemy Lines" with Owen Wilson where he's been shot down in Kosovo and trying to get away from the bad guys and get picked up. There's an alley through an old abandoned factory and he discovers the whole alley is layered with mine tripwires.
At one point he is running away from the bad guys and is forced to run through that alley. So he just runs as fast as he can and the one or two second delay on the mines lets him get past before the explosions can kill him.
It's a pretty impressive scene.
I felt like that all day long.
The Hive was full when I got there, of course. Day shift had already locked up several and kicked out several. So we got to play catch and release all night long.
And the lockups kept coming.... all night long. I lost track after five or six, but i think it was seven or eight.
And right at the end of getting the house fed one of the biggest nastiest thunderstorms so far of the year roared in and hit hard. Drenching sheets of rain and lightning and wild swirling winds. I saw one of the five gallon buckets we use out front for an ashtray go whirling away and up and almost make it up on the roof before it came back down, spattering cigarette butts and trash everywhere.
If there wasn't a tornado in that storm somewhere it was close enough not to really matter all that much.
And still more lockups came. And more knuckleheads departed.
And with the Hive completely full and nowhere for anybody to go, every swingin' richard in the house decided that he was in fear for his life and had to be moved somewhere else. I made the best suggestions that I could, but none of them worked out. Luckily Chuck and Windows got things straightened out.
Let's see..... 175 in the house. Eight people on suicide watch or close observation.... two hunger strikers, one cell flooder and the idiot that I have to be in tomorrow morning at 10 am for managed to scratch his wrists on a sliver of paint or something and bleed all over his cell again.
Just freaking lovely.
As I'm running around like a freaking maniac trying to get caught up, this one offender calls me over to his cell in C-wing. He was polite, so i stopped for a second.
He said "Are you busy?"
I nodded and said "Yup"
He said "I just need a sec. I haven't seen you in a while. I just wanted to say....."
"I just wanted to say....."
And then he started to sing to me.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?"
I couldn't take it. I cracked up.
The sumbitch made me blush.
But it was the high point of my night. At least once there was something to smile about.
But I hate it when they make me blush.
Puppy stuff - *Many people told me I'd be better off adopting a shelter dog that was already grown rather than a puppy, because that way I wouldn't have the trials of ho...
1 week ago